shamwow amazon

Learn from my mistakes, my friends. You cannot find happiness from material objects. Or at least not these ones. I will keep you updated if I ever find something to buy that is guaranteed to make you happy. Although, if I do find it, I might not want to tell you because then everyone will have it and it might not make me as happy if everyone has one. But then again, if it does bring me happiness, it’s probably going to be really expensive so maybe not everyone will be able to afford it and I can still be happy in the knowledge that I am one of the few people to own this special thing that brings me happiness. But enough, here’s the list:

1)  Corvette parts. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wasteful about spending money on corvette parts if they are legit, practical parts but do you want to know what I spend my hard earned gambling earnings on? A LCD monitor for my car. I spend a total of maybe four hours a week in my Corvette so I don’t know why I thought I needed an LCD monitor. I blame MTV Cribs, mostly. This American material culture has taught me that I need to have expensive goods to justify my existence and I bought right into it. I feel embarrassed, ashamed and saddened by my actions. Will you forgive me?

2)  ShamWow! I won’t lie, I was bowled over by the almost hypnotic, persuasive powers of The ShamWow guy. His eloquence, his good looks, his charm, these are all things I respect in a person so I had no choice but to order one hundred ShamWows. They don’t work that great. I could have spent that money and just gotten some cheap disinfectant wipes but they don’t have really great commercials for disinfectant wipes like they do for ShamWow so how am I supposed to be convinced to buy them if they don’t have a YouTube worthy infomercial? Where am I supposed to get my information about what is good if not through the television? If I can’t trust the man in the infomercial at three o’clock in the morning, who can I trust? Let me repeat for emphasis: who can I trust!?

3)  The Complete DVD set of Seasons 1-4 of “Dinosaurs” the TV series. Nostalgia is a fickle mistress. One moment I am pining to relieve my youth. The sad thing is I don’t remember my youth. All I remember is an endless stream of television shows. Sometimes I can’t remember if something really happened to me or if it happened on an episode of “Step By Step.” So one day in a fit of powerful, overriding nostalgia I ordered the full “Dinosaurs” DVD set from Amazon. When it arrived in the mail the next week I had already forgotten all about it. At that point I was too lazy to return it so I unwrapped it and started watching. Like most things I misremember fondly from my past, it was depressing, sad and made me realize why I never went to my high school prom.

4)  A Match.com account. Worst $14.99 a month I ever spent.

About the Author:

Alan Lomax is a freelance writer who enjoys papasan chairs, chicken noodle soup and Deepak Chopra.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – A List of Things I Have Wasted My Money on Recently

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