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The Trials of Love: Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back

As Shakespeare said, the course of true love did never run smooth. Which means there’s bumps and grinds, and yes, breakups and pain. (Not to mention fodder for every romantic comedy from the Song of Solomon to Adam Sandler). When you’re the one who’s dumped, the dump-ee, and you’re a guy, the usual narrative is that it’s somehow your fault. This preys on the way men are taught to think – it’s up to us to be considerate and outreaching and women somehow expect us to read their minds.

In the case of a recent dump, that usually means the guy is stuck, trying to figure out what he could’ve done differently, playing out scenarios where he could’ve been more romantic, more caring, more tender, more…something. After all, when we’re rejected by the women who loves us, clearly, the fault is in us, right?

Yes and no. The fault was in the relationship, but not necessarily with you. It could be as simple as incompatibility, different values, or the fact that she’s just a bit crazy in ways you’re not equipped to deal with. (As the famous tee shirt says, “One in four people suffers from mental illness; think of your three best friends. If it’s not one of them, it’s you.”).

What makes this even worse is that most women, in spite of complaining about how guys are terrible communicators, are even worse when it comes to emotional issues. They won’t speak the plain truth, they won’t tell what’s really on their mind, and they will try to hide information rather than “hurt you” with it. If you were looking for a recipe designed to make men mad, you’d be hard pressed to find a better system.

So, do yourself a favor. Assume that the breakup is a no-fault breakup (unless, of course, you know for certain you did something to cause the rift…). Then stop thinking about her. Take her off your speed dial. Don’t IM her. In fact, turn off the computer (well, after you’ve made it to level 80 on World of Warcraft – a man has to have his priorities, and all), and go out. Hang with your buddies. Enjoy being single. Pick up a hobby – go to a game store and play something. Go to a book store and read something. Go chat up that cute waitress in a restaurant just to feel what it’s like to have someone interested in you.

You see, that’s the trick. To get your girlfriend back, there’s nothing you can do directly – the only thing you can do is make your life enough more interesting that she comes back on her own. That’s why she was with you before – because you had a life beyond the relationship. That’s what it’ll take to win her back. Not soppy apology letters or groveling on your belly. Grow a spine and have a life of your own.

Let these changes percolate, and see how they influence her behavior. She may actually miss you. Or you may decide that while relationships are nice, having your own life is better, and you’re next relationship will start with some boundaries set. (Here’s a hint – if your girlfriend won’t let you have a guy’s night out each week, walk away early.)

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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com – What Can You Do to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back? Here Are Some “Secret Weapons” You Can Use!

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